Carlos Cuellar vies with Adam Johnson. Photograph: Glyn Kirk
Peeep!!!: They're going to persist with this so we're underway in the second half. Things can only get better, right? "Greetings from Bangkok," writes Maher Sattar. "Re: Ian Copestake's email earlier, I suppose a False Sven would be an unfaithful English national team manager. In other news I was pretty disheartened when Lukas Podikski didn't join Arsenal in The winter, but it seems now that his January rejection was a False Nein? I don't know why I'm emailing this to you, it's pretty much a Given that a joke's not worth Shay-ring if you don't laugh at it yourself."
Half time emails ...
From Ryan Dunne: " Hey, don't diss Richard Dunne! He's the player I live vicariously through, dreaming of the moment when the MBM will refer to a "R.Dunne scores the winner with a glorious 30 yard volley!" Be fair, some of those OGs have been lovely finishes."From Matt Dony (about Ryan Dunne): "So many emails I've read from Ryan Dunne, but never realised he was Glaswegian. From now on, I'll read his words in a comedy scotch accent. So something interesting has come from this game afterall."
Matthew Charlesworth asks: "Is this as boring as ... Ireland vs Norway in the 1994 World Cup? That's still the benchmark."
I would say this is as boring as the Antique's Roadshow on a wet Sunday in March when the remote control is out of reach and you are incapacitated on the couch on account of having hit the confidence-booster too hard the previous evening.
Half time: Aston Villa 0-0 Manchester City. In summary: yawn.
44 min: Where's Carlos Tevez? That's what I want to know. Actually I don't really. Here's Ryan Dunne on what he's calling "tracksuit-gate". "Personally I regard tracksuits as suitable for hot dates, job interviews, weddings, graduations, funerals, bar mitzvahs and all other occasions (but I am Glasweigan, so YMMV). It does tho depend on the material used; velour can be a classy look, as rocked by Nas, Rick Ross and, er,Kim Kardashian ."
41 min: A corner for Aston Villa. Petrov ping sit towards Richard 'The Fridge' Dunne who flings himself at the ball, which seems to smash into his face and goes high in the air before landing on the roof of Joe Hart's net. "Poor old Richard Dunne," says Adam Timmins. "I like the bloke, he's a good honest defender who gives it his all, but his legs have gone."
39 min: Free kick to Manchester City. Kolarov shoots but it's over the bar. Aguero has another effort after James 'garlic crusher' Collins mis-controlled. Again it's high and wide. The kit clash is more pronounced that the accompanying photo would suggest, by the way.
39 min: Petrov tries to pick out Robbie Keane but the pass is overhit and Lescott comes across to mop up the danger. Not literally, that would be ridiculous. Or would it? Maybe all players should be forced to carry around household cleaning products. They could adopt them as nicknames. James 'the duster' Milner.
35 min: Aston Villa are going to win this 1-0. Now there's a talking point. "A false Seven in footballing parlance would mean not getting anyone's head in the box," says Ian Copestake.
34 min: City are well on top now as they have been for the whole game but they're creating chances now. Adam Johnson goes around the outside of Cuellar and cuts back to Aguero. he doesn't catch his shot cleanly. I think it's going wide but Collins doesn't take any chances and boots clear inside the six-yard box.
31 min: "Keep me updated with the score please," says Luqman Jansen. I'll do more than that Luqman. I'll describe interesting and exciting incidents if and when they occur. So far it's mainly just the kit clash. The key talking points are, according to Matthew Charlesworth, "1) Kit Clash; 2) Fox Soccer Channel; 3) The match. "The co-commentator just informed us that Sergio Aguero is "not the tallest". Thanks for that."
29 min: Agüero is making a play to become a talking point. He drifts by two or three challenges in that slalom style of his but gets his shot all wrong. Tom Shaw has a question: "Wouldn't it be an idea to have an observer in the stands at every match, and if he deemed the game to be lacking in entertainment both sides would have to play the second half in exactly the same kit, except maybe for socks? It would certainly liven things up."
26 min: City are turning up the heat now. First Silva tries to pick out Milner who can't control and Dunne hacks behind for a corner. Villa fail to clear the set-piece fully and it eventually lands at Adam Johnson's feet. He skips inside from the right and fires a low left-footed shot which beats Given at his near post but crashes back off the woodwork.
4.25pm: Wait!!! here comes Sergio Aguero. He twists and turns at the edge of the Villa area, skips by a couple of challenges and dinks a cross from the byline to ... nobody in particular. Oh well.
23 min: "Ah, kit clash," says Matt Dony. "The gift that keeps giving. That's your email input sorted for the rest of the game." Well if something would just happen in the match then we could move on, but nothing is happening., Nowt. Nada.
22 min: Matthew Charlesworth writes: "In the States, Fox Soccer Channel showed the team lineups before the game and had Petrov on the right wing and Albrighton in the middle for Villa, while City are apparently playing Gareth Barry on the right wing (he's such a throwback to old fashioned wingers), Milner in the middle of midfield, and Adam Johnson up front with Aguero, in a 4-4-2. How lazy is that? And amid all the to do recently about Fox (and not Fox Soccer Channel) showing Arsenal v Man United, it wasn't actually on Fox but a different Fox-affiliated Channel that doesn't have Fox in its name. And they cancelled Arrested Development. And all those other things they do. I think this ranks as the second most interesting aspect of the game." No it doesn't.
19 min: Gareth Barry shoots low from the edge of the area. It goes through a crowd of bodies which includes David Silva who is miles offside but Given is able to stop. "regarding the e-mail at 14 minutes winning with 22 Villa players," says Richard Johnson, "you could probably count on Dunne or Collins for an own goal or two." I think 22 Aston Villa players on the pitch has a draw written all over it.
18 min: Silva drifts into the inside right position (which is probably called a false seven in modern parlance). He tries to bend a shot past Given but doesn't catch it right and it's an easy save.
17 min: Villa have a free kick in a relatively dangerous position. Petrov floats it across the area where Richard Dunne arrives and heads goalwards but it's a routine save for Joe Hart. "On this day of apologetic days, I'd like to apologise as a Liverpool fan for everything Ryan Dunne has done or will do (till Friday, let' s say)," says Ian Copestake. "There you are, Ryan, you're covered. Go and be bad."
15 min: More on kit-clash-gate, this time from Philippa Booth: "There's some quality knitted headgear being sported by the home fans, perhaps that could be the answer. No snoods, obviously, that would be dangerous. But bobble hats could be a big help." Bobble hats are the answer. The future.
14 min: "Kit clash," says Matthew Charlesworth of the only interesting aspect to this game so far. And it's not even that interesting. "It looks like 22 Aston Villa players until my eyes readjust every few seconds to realize some of them are City players. Would Villa win even if everyone on the pitch were playing for them?" I think the question is could Villa win even if everyone on the pitch were playing for them?
11 min: This is a very tame opening. Perhaps both sides have been reading all the apologies and contrition coming out of Anfield and though 'why can't we all just get along?' Barry tries to pick out Aguero with a long, angled pass but Richard Dunne intercepts.
9 min: Barry robs Petrov but, with Silva and Aguero making runs behind the Villa defence, he can only find an opponent. I would blame the shirt clash but then again it is Gareth Barry.
8 min: BREAKING NEWS ... Shay Given has changed gloves. This game has everything.
6 min: Kit-clash-gate is the only talking point of the game so far as Manchester City knock the ball around on halfway and Villa let them have it. When Everton beat City a couple of weeks ago they hounded them from start to finish. Villa are going to try the softly-softly approach it would seem. "Casual?" says Shane O'Leary of my email address. "I'm intrigued, are you deploying the verbs, nouns and all that from a leatherette couch, your smoking jacket saucily askew as you contemplate the horror / joy of a Mancini, Money n Tevez conciliation?" Yep. You've nailed it.
4 min: "Isn't it odd that both teams are wearing white shorts?" asks Alan Streenstrup. I can officially confirm that it is a kit clash shambles at Villa Park. Heads must roll. Maybe City could put their tracksuit tops back on.
2 min: Early chance for City as Silva races on to a poor defensive header from Collins. he nods it to Aguero just inside the penalty area. The Argentine chests down and rapidly fires a right-footed shot straight at Given. "Tracksuit trend," writes Stephen Harrison. "Discuss-ting. Somebody had to."
Peeep!!!: Manchester City kick off in a navy blue that is actually quite hard to distinguish from the Aston Villa kit. They're playing room right-to-left. Regarding Ryan Dunne's Football Weekly comment below - if it was up to me I would push for Sir David Frost. Or Frosty as I believe he likes to be called.
3.59pm: "Afternoon Evan!" says Ryan Dunne. "Just catching up on today's sports news ( Liverpool apologising for something?! Lucky it's not April the 1st etc) and was impressed to see the slap-headed Pep Guardiola didn't wear a hat in conditions described as "freezing". One hopes that AC Jimbo takes better precautions on his skiing holiday! (am sure that Max will be great, but personally I'd love to hear Millie Clode or Jim White as substitute fitba weekly presenters)."
3.55pm: The teams make their way on to the pitch at Villa Park with Manchester City in a natty tracksuit top. This new-fangled trend for teams to wear tracksuits onto the pitch. Discuss.
3.51pm: Richard Dunne has scored seven goals against Manchester City. Six of those were own goals while playing for City. "Tevez or Torres?" asks Paul Taylor. "Of course, everyone knows Torres is a top player also, right? Mancini should be careful what he wishes for—he might get it."
3.48pm: Of course, as Sky have pointed out, this fixture throws up a Shay Given v Joe Hart head-to-head. But we know that Joe Hart's already won that battle, don't we? That's why Given is at Aston Villa.
3.34pm: In other news there's an awful lot of contrition coming out of Anfield today, which is odd because yesterday it was all the fault of the rolling 24-hour news channels. Full details here.
3.29pm: The teams are in and thanks to the miracle that is copying and pasting I can now bring them to you. No room for Stephen Ireland in the Villa side against his former club. Charles Insomnia also has to make do with a place on the bench.
Aston Villa: Given; Hutton, Cuellar, Dunne, Collins; Albrighton, Petrov, Gardner Heskey; Keane, Bent.Subs: Guzan, Ireland, Warnock, Bannan, Baker, Weimann, N'Zogbia.
Manchester City: Hart; Zabaleta, Kompany, Lescott, Kolarov; De Jong, Barry; Johnson, Milner, Silva; Agüero.
Subs: Pantilimon, Richards, Clichy, Savic, Nasri, Pizarro, Dzeko.
Great news everybody! Carlos Tevez is on his way back to Manchester. Obviously tired of Luis Suárez grabbing all he headlines, Carlitos will amble back to play his part in Manchester City's title run-in.
"Everyone knows Carlos is a top player," Roberto Mancini said this week, telling everyone what they already know. "If he was here and playing it would be better, because Carlos can change games. If he were to come back next week maybe he can still help us in the next three months.If that's not exciting enough Roberto Mancini will soon have Mario Balotelli available after suspension and the Touré brothers (like the Chuckle Brothers, but funnier) back from the Africa Cup of Nations. So everything is coming up rosy for Manchester City. All they need now is to return to the top of the Premier League table.
To do that they must travel to Villa Park and get a result against an Aston Villa side who, under Alex McLeish, veer from soul-destroying-ly inept to something a little bit better than that. With just one league win this year Villa desperately need three points and a big scalp and that. Villa have shown glimpses of cohesion recently (and occasionally it all comes together such as the victory over Chelsea on 31 December) but those performances have been so rare that Villa fans are putting McLeish forward for
So, Carlos Tevez, Alex McLeish, Aston Villa, Manchester City. Can life get any more exciting?
Kick off at Villa Park is 4pm.
Source:http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/feb/12/aston-villa-manchester-city-mbm?newsfeed=true
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